


that one scene from friends

by thestuffedalligator



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 22:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestuffedalligator/pseuds/thestuffedalligator
Summary: Nott knows something Beau might know. Beau knows something Nott might know.Basically that one scene from friends with more violence





	that one scene from friends

"Nott, please. You can never tell anyone about this."

Nott took one of Caleb’s hands with both of hers and squeezed it. "All right," she sighed. "If you don’t want me to, then I won’t."

"_Pleeease _ don’t tell anyone, Beau."

Beau sucked air through her teeth and stared at the ceiling. "Ah, fuck," she hissed. "_Fine _."

Beau sat in the Xhorhaus kitchen and glared at Nott. "What are you hiding?"

Nott pivoted around a little too quickly. "W-_hiding _? Why would I be hiding something?!"

"Your ears are behind your fucking head. That means you’re hiding something."

Nott willed her ears into a more neutral position. "I have no idea what you’re talking about, Beau."

Beau squinted at her. "Do you know something?"

Nott squinted back. "Do _y__ou _ know something?"

"I might know something."

"I might know something, too."

Beau leaned back in her chair. Her knuckles popped as she tightened her fists. "What’s the thing you know?"

Nott’s hand slid down. She felt the Tinkertop Bolt Blaster 1000 under her fingers. "Nope, I can’t tell you, you have to tell me the thing you know."

"I can’t tell you what I know."

"Well, I can’t tell you what I know."

"Hm," Beau said.

"_Hm _," Nott said.

There were two crossbow bolts embedded in the doorframe. Caduceus stared at them. He plucked a finger on one. It made a _ thud-d-d-d-d-d _ noise.

He listened to it for a moment. Then he decided that he should do something about the two women fighting in the kitchen.

"Extract truth, _ bitch_!" Beau yelled. She swung a wild haymaker at Nott. Nott ducked underneath it, reached up, scrabbled up Beau’s arm, and squeezed Beau’s neck in a chokehold.

"Tell me what you know!" she shrieked. Beau choked and clawed at Nott’s arm. "_Tell me what you know _!"

Welp. Someone had to do something. He walked over, pried Beau and Nott off of each other, and held them apart by the back of their shirts. "All right, all right," he sighed. "What’s this all about?"

Nott flipped upside down in Caduceus's grip and tried to gnaw at his wrist.

Beau started yelling first. Nott wasn’t far behind. "_She knows something and she won’t_-" "_She just swung at me out of nowhere-_" "-_t__old me that she wouldn’t say until I said something-_" "-_horseshit-"_

Caduceus frowned. The copper dropped and operated his brain. "Oh," he said. "Is this about Caleb and Jester?"

There was a long, sudden silence as Beau and Nott stared at Caduceus.

Then they both started screaming.


End file.
